UP.
By Sharlene Provilus
I thought I could outrun the pain of my past,
only to find out it had a head start.
Thoughts triggered emotions that bear-hugged from behind.
Off guard and out of focus,
my viewfinder became clouded with reasonable doubt.Would I ever know freedom after getting accustomed to bondage for so long?
Would I recognize health if it stood in front of me?
Would I sabotage would-be happiness
for the sake of a dysfunctional familiarity?I got really used to being used.
I got used to hiding in the day
and keeping secrets at night.
The possibility of everything being different
breathed life into weak expectations.See, I learned about God and grief in the same space.
I worshiped and wept in the same space.
I gained redemption and lost innocence in the same place.
The fact that I even followed God
is a miracle in itself.Guilt is still being gutted
from deep places in this soul of mine.
So, it’s only up from here.
When the bottom has been ceiling for so long,
it’s relief to see the Creator of the universe
stretch sky above you.God said He is Father to the fatherless.
He’s proven His commitment to parent,
coming through with child support—
month after month, day after day,
minute after minute.
When He said it, He meant it.Battle-weary from generational trauma,
it happened to my mama and her mama—
it probably happened to her mama’s mama too.
Pure love is sifting poison from this bloodline.
A transfusion.
An uneven exchange.Although easy to explain,
it’s incredibly hard to comprehend:
beauty for ashes,
joy for mourning.
My life cost His death.
My failures, and those of my forefathers,
covered forever.The Ancient of Days
is master at making all things new.
So, it’s only up from here.
ABOUT
THESE
LINES
We all have moments when the floor feels like our ceiling. There were seasons when I believed my past would block everything healthy in my future. But that’s not true—not when you stay on the potter’s wheel.
God has promised to finish the work He started. As we’re being formed, things get messy, but all work works—it’s either working on you or working for you. When we allow God the freedom to do His best work in our hearts, our lives eventually reflect His touch. Your story isn’t finished.
Struggle is part of the human experience, but there is hope. One of the things I love about walking with God is that He really does stretch the sky above us—offering hope when everything else suggests there’s nothing left to hope for. Be encouraged: it’s only up from here.
YOUR
TURN
The next time you step outside, pause and look at the sky. Let it remind you that God is still stretching hope above you. In the comments, share one word that captures what that moment stirs in you.
